For All the Parent Warriors

Some days we parents may seem strong on the outside, invincible warriors fighting tremendous battles for the sake of our kids...and doing it successfully! But there are days when, inside, we are tender children aching over the challenges our own precious kids face each day, torn down from all the medical stresses, or just plain worn out from the daily extras.

A wonderful song from Twila Paris came up on Pandora this morning, at just the right time. This song has really strengthened me during tough patches in my Christian walk, and I was blessed to hear it again today.

For all you warrior parents (and teachers too!), this song's for you.

The Warrior is a Child
by Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
the warrior is a child

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and look up for a smile
'Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child


Here's a video version if you aren't familiar with this song...

 

 

Have an amazing day!

You're invited to Kelly's autism Bible Study (free eBook, too!)

Kelly Langston is a remarkable mom who also happens to have an amazing son with autism. She has just launched an online Bible study growing out of her book Autism's Hidden Blessings and YOU are invited! Her publisher is also offering Autism's Hidden Blessings free of charge for just a few days here, so don't wait to pick it up.

I haven't read the whole book...but eagerly and tearfully devoured the first section. Kelly is a committed Christian whose message to other Christians is one of hope and promise. If you are in need of God's encouragement as you raise a child with special needs, this might be just the book for you.

Her message isn't limited just to families having kids on the autism spectrum. No, it meets Christian families who face disabilities of all kinds.

If you are interested, please check out Kelly's blog to learn more about the online Bible study. Enrollment for the study is only open until Friday, May 4th, so you'll want to sign up speedy-quick. Kelly will be offering a light weekly homework assignment and open it up for discussion in an online study area. I sure would love to meet some of you there!

If you don't have time for the study itself, hopefully you will still download and benefit from Kelly's book. If the rest of it hits as close to home as the beginning section, I can tell it's going to be hugely encouraging and strengthening in my faith.

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5-6-12

Kelly had to close this session of her Bible study on autism and other special needs, but there is great news if you missed the sign in time! You can ask to be added to a waiting list for a future session. Click here for the link to Kelly's waiting list. She'll let you know when that next session is scheduled.

I encourage you to sign up. This first session is so encouraging so far! There are 400 parents supporting and cheering each other on as we claim the biblical promises God has made us and our children.

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

Why does God allow suffering?

As parents of children with special needs, it’s an in-your-face question that we wrestle with. It’s hard to ignore.  Regardless of the issues our kids face, we ache to watch them suffer. If they must struggle, we’d like to at least understand why.

It’s such a huge question. Theologians have struggled with it for centuries. I’m not going to come up with any earth-shattering insights…I just bumble along like everyone else.

I’ve certainly asked why a million times. Why would God allow an innocent child to suffer pain? Why would He allow my baby to suffer?

I’ve asked a thousand variations…why would He allow my child to be robbed of speech? Of her ability to chew? Or to use her hands? Or to walk? Why must she hurt? Why must she have seizures? It isn’t the medical explanations I’m talking about, it’s the soul-gripping why.

I don’t have the answer. But when I quit focusing on the question of why, only then am I able to see tiny bits of the puzzle more clearly.

Maybe it’s just me; maybe it’s more universal than that. Maybe you see yourself in this too?

The problem with why is that it centers my attention on the hurts, on the worries, on the things that have gone wrong. I get so caught up in the problem of suffering that I can’t see past it. When I hang on tightly to my obsession with why, I can’t let go of it to grab God’s hand.

When our daughter rapidly lost her early skills and she experienced pain that we couldn’t identify at that point, it was terribly hard for me to let go of the question of why God would allow this. I couldn’t see past the crisis to the fact that He still held us in the palm of His hand.

But God was faithful to His word. He did (and still does!) hold us in His hand through all the hard times, just as He promises throughout the Psalms and Isaiah in the Old Testament (I was going to list some specific references, but there are so many. If you don’t have a concordance to look them up, you can do a search for "hold me in your hand" through NETBible.org).

I just had to shift my sites from the desire for an explanation of why the Lord would allow our daughter to suffer…to the trust in Him to hold us through it.

Taking my eyes off the problem of understanding why—something we may never know anyway—allowed me to see some of the blessings that have come from our situation. I would not have noticed them if my focus stayed on the question.

                --our extended family has grown closer

                --the overwhelming majority of teachers who have worked with our daughter say she has taught them more about teaching than anything or anyone else

                --we’ve made dear friends in this circle of disability

                --we’ve received practical support (very tough for me) and been able to pass it on to other families…

                --I’ve seen growth in my own character (slow, but coming):  advocacy, acceptance, better calm under pressure, less easily embarassed

                --I’m more aware of areas I need to grow:  patience, forbearing, grace, releasing control

                --problem-solving has become a standard practice for our family

                --we’re taking life a bit slower and savoring each day as it comes

To be quite honest, I hadn’t thought about the question of why in quite a long while. Memories of letting go of that why question came this morning when my alarm wakened me with Natalie Grant’s song, Held. In it, she sings of a young mother’s grief over the death of her sick infant. The words remind us that though there is no explanation when our world falls apart, the Lord faithfully holds us. If you don’t know the song, the words are below. You can hear Natalie Grant sing it here (but caution, have Kleenex handy. It gets me every time!).

Maybe it is okay that we never know why in this lifetime. God has His own reasons for allowing suffering. Surely they are bigger than the little pieces of the puzzle we catch glimpses of every now and then.

But we are held in the palm of God’s hand, and that’s more than enough.


Be blessed in the palm of His hand today.

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HELD by Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
If hope if born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
[Repeat Chorus]

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You might also want to look at Finding Comfort in Psalm 139

Finding comfort in Psalm 139

Psalm 139 has faithfully carried me through hard times and celebrations. With delighted anticipation, I read Psalm 139 nightly to the children growing in my pregnant belly. I read it to my daughter A when Rett syndrome began stealing her skills and I needed a reminder that God is truly in control. At her diagnosis, I read it with her as more of a prayer to build my faith in God’s control. I still read it often when I need to hear God’s promise of His deep caring. I insert A’s name to remember how precious and perfect she is. There is a design to her life that I don’t need to understand (a good thing, since I don’t see the bigger picture) and that design is flawless.

I find myself clinging to Psalm 139 for comfort and promise right now.  Uncontrolled seizures--again--compromise A’s skills and alertness. It's a tough time for her and so for me as well, sharing her pain by proxy and suffering my inability to kiss the hurt and make it go away.

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 Psalm 139

¹O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

²You know when I sit and when I rise;

You perceive my thoughts from afar.

³You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.

⁵You hem me in--behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

too lofty for me to attain.

⁷Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹If I rise on the wings of the dawn,  

if I settle on the far side  of the sea,

¹⁰even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me,

and the light become night around me,”

¹²even the darkness will not be dark to you; 

the night will shine like the  day,

for darkness is as light to you.

¹³For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together  in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

¹⁵My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
¹⁶your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

¹⁷How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

                                             New International Version

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What verses bring you comfort when your child is going through a rough patch? Does one stand out for you as being especially helpful?